Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by my own daughter over money? Hi, I’m Martha, a 58-year-old widow. I’m feeling deeply betrayed by my daughter, Elaine, who’s 32. Our story might sound familiar, but the depth of the betrayal has left me questioning everything.
A Plan for the Future
Five years ago, after my husband passed away, I received a significant life insurance payout. Thinking of the future, I decided to help Elaine and her husband, Tom, by buying them a house. It was meant to be an investment for them, and in return, they agreed to take care of any maintenance or tax costs. I thought it was a perfect way to ensure they had a secure future and to use my husband’s legacy wisely.
The Discovery
Recently, I discovered that Elaine and Tom have been renting out the house for the past year without telling me and keeping the income for themselves. They justified it by saying the money helped cover their increased living costs and claimed they were still handling the upkeep.
Feeling Deceived
I felt utterly deceived. Not only did they break our agreement, but they also lied about their financial situation. When I confronted them, Elaine accused me of trying to control her life and said that I should be happy they were making smart financial decisions.
The Fallout
The situation escalated quickly. We had a heated argument, and now we barely speak. I feel like I’ve not only lost money but also my daughter. I’m torn between the desire to legally reclaim the house or trying to mend our relationship.
My Dilemma
Am I wrong for wanting to take back the house? Should I have just been content knowing they were supposedly managing well financially? The thought of taking legal action against my daughter breaks my heart, but I also feel like a fool for trusting them blindly.
Comments from Others
Heartfelt Advice: “It’s heartbreaking when trust is broken like that. Maybe give it some time and then try talking to her again?”
Firm Stand: “I think you should take back the house. It’s your money and your investment, they’ve abused your trust.”
Sympathy: “This is tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe mediation could help?”
Protecting Assets: “They took advantage of you, and you have every right to feel upset. Protect your assets!”
Seeking Understanding: “It seems like there’s more going on here. Perhaps they’re struggling more than they let on?”
Standing Up for Yourself: “As painful as it is, sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves, even if it means going against family.”
Family Counseling: “Have you considered family counseling? It might help mend your relationship with Elaine.”
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
2 thoughts on “FINANCIAL DISAGREEMENTS TEAR FAMILY APART: AM I WRONG?”
Let me understand what you said.
It was meant to be an investment for them, and in return, they agreed to take care of any maintenance or tax costs. I thought it was a perfect way to ensure they had a secure future and to use my husband’s legacy wisely.
They said they are taking care of it. It is an investment because they are receiving monthly income from it.
They are using the money to help themselves financially.
Maybe they didn’t say anything because this is exactly the way they knew you would react.
First, how did you find out they were renting it? How long was that going on before you found out? Did you not visit them?
Second, is the house in their name or yours? If it’s in their names, it’s theirs to do with as they desire.
If it’s in your name, do you have a written agreement stating the terms of your arrangement with them and the house?
If not, it’s theirs and they can do with it whatever they please.
If what they do with anything you *Give* them bothers you, stop giving them presents.
Is the deed to the house in your name or your daughter’s name. You cannot do anything if it’s in her name