The Best Divorce Letter Ever
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. After 7 years of marriage, I feel like I’ve been a good husband, but I have nothing to show for it. The last two weeks have been absolute hell. Just today, your boss called to tell me that you quit your job, and that was the last straw for me.
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a brand new haircut. I had cooked your favorite meal and even put on a shiny new pair of silk boxers just for you. But you ate your dinner in two minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your soap operas.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore, and you don’t want to be intimate or do anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me, or you just don’t love me anymore. Whatever the case may be, I’m done.
Your EX-Husband,
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter! It’s true that we’ve been married for 7 years, but calling yourself a good man is a stretch. I watch my soap operas because they help drown out your constant whining and complaining. Too bad they don’t always work!
I did notice your new haircut last week, but honestly, the first thing that popped into my head was, “You look just like a girl!” Since my mother taught me to keep my comments nice, I decided to keep that to myself. And about that meal you cooked? You must have confused me with my sister because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago!
Now, let’s talk about those new silk boxers. I turned away from you because I saw the $49.99 price tag still hanging from them, and I couldn’t help but pray it was just a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning. But here’s the twist: after all of this, I still loved you and thought we could work things out.
Then, something amazing happened! I hit the lottery for 10 million dollars! I was so excited that I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home to surprise you, you were already gone. It seems everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you find the fulfilling life you always wanted.
Oh, and my lawyer told me that your letter guarantees you won’t get a dime from me. So, take care!
What a wild ride of a divorce! The letters are filled with drama, misunderstandings, and unexpected twists.
It’s like a soap opera in real life! What do you think about this couple’s story? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
