A young couple who worked at the same company found out something shocking about each other—their paychecks were wildly different. They had no idea until they were already deep into their relationship and getting ready for a future together. Things got even more dramatic when, after getting engaged, the woman decided she wanted to quit her job.
That decision made people on social media think she was just after money, calling her a gold-digger. But her fiancé strongly defended her, saying that wasn’t true at all.
The 30-year-old man, who shared his story on the AITAH subreddit, was really stressed and needed advice. He admitted he was feeling guilty and confused. According to him, he works as a researcher at a major tech company. He met his now-fiancée about two and a half years ago during a company event. She worked in the marketing department, and from the moment he saw her, he was hooked.
“I was absolutely smitten,” he wrote.
He asked her out, and the two of them started dating. Their relationship was solid. He adored her for being smart, supportive, and super organized—qualities that helped balance out his own struggles. He mentioned he has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and often finds it hard to manage everyday tasks.
“She’s so patient with me. She helps me with things that feel impossible for me to handle on my own,” he explained. “She just makes my life better.”
Her job in marketing was demanding—she planned events and often had to travel, deal with vendors, and stay late at work. Meanwhile, his role was a regular desk job with predictable hours. This difference led to some frustration on her end.
“She would often say things like, ‘You have no idea how lucky you are to just sit in an office while I run around all day.’”
After dating for a while, she moved in with him. That’s when they finally had the money talk—and both were stunned. She knew he made good money, but she had no idea how much more he made compared to her. Turns out, he earned 15 times more than she did. Fifteen.
He was just as shocked.
“She couldn’t believe it,” he said. “Neither could I.”
Even though he owned the apartment they were living in, she insisted on paying her fair share. So they agreed to split bills based on their income, which worked fine. She was independent, proud, and didn’t want to rely on him for everything.
Then, about a month before he posted on Reddit, he proposed. She said yes! Everything seemed great… until the engagement ring conversation.
She had asked for a $15,000 diamond ring. That made him uncomfortable.
“I told her I didn’t feel right spending that much,” he admitted. But she said it was worth it because she would wear it forever.
“She kept saying, ‘It’s a symbol of our love. I’ll wear it every day for the rest of my life.’”
He finally gave in and bought the ring. But soon, he started noticing something odd—every time she showed the ring to someone, she made sure to mention how expensive it was.
That didn’t sit well with him.
“I told her multiple times to stop bringing up the price, but she kept doing it.”
Then came the real shocker.
One night, just before he posted online, she asked him to sit with her on the couch because she had something serious to talk about. He sat down, thinking it was something minor. But then she dropped a bombshell:
“I’m quitting my job next month. I’m giving my 15-day notice tomorrow.”
He was stunned. “Wait—what? Why?”
She explained that she wanted to focus on planning their wedding, and organizing everything would take a lot of time.
“We’re getting married this summer,” she said. “I want to start booking things right away.”
Still confused, he asked, “But why do you have to quit your job for that?”
That’s when she said something that completely threw him off.
“I’m just tired. I want to be a stay-at-home fiancée.”
He actually laughed. “That’s not even a thing,” he told her, pointing out she still had unpaid student loans to deal with.
She replied, “I make less in a month than you do in a week. We’re a team now. Why does it matter?”
He asked what her plan was after the wedding, and she admitted she hadn’t thought that far ahead.
He told her she could take a short break, but quitting her career entirely didn’t sit right with him.
“I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her giving up on her career this early. We don’t even have kids yet. What if something happens to me one day? I want her to stay independent.”
That talk turned into a full-blown argument. She accused him of being mean and unsupportive.
“She said I should want her to be happy and relaxed, especially since we could afford for her not to work.”
Yes, technically they could afford it. But he said it felt off. Like something deeper was going on.
He ended his post with a question: Is being a stay-at-home fiancée even a real thing? He said he loved her and wanted to support her, but couldn’t shake the feeling that she was quitting her job too soon.
Redditors had a lot to say.
One user didn’t hold back:
“Did someone say gold digger? She’s going to milk you for everything. First it’s the student loans, then the fancy ring, next it’ll be a new car and a bigger house. You two are financially incompatible.”
Others agreed, saying she was showing signs of wanting a lavish lifestyle without putting in the work.
Still, OP came back with an update a few days later.
After calming down, he invited her to have dinner with him at home and gently brought up the subject again. This time, he made sure to listen more and stay calm.
At first, she got defensive. But slowly, she opened up.
She told him she felt like her job wasn’t making a difference anymore. She barely made enough to contribute, and that made her feel useless in the relationship.
“She said, ‘I feel like a work-mule. I’m constantly drained, and I don’t even get paid enough to make it worth it.’”
He explained to her that it wasn’t about money. “I told her, ‘You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. You’re talented and skilled—please don’t throw it all away.’”
He also reminded her that they didn’t have enough saved up for her to live comfortably if he ever lost his job. He made a lot—but that also put a target on his back during layoffs.
To his relief, she listened. She agreed with many of his points and confessed that she was just overwhelmed with everything related to the wedding.
“She said, ‘You’re bad at organizing stuff. I’ll have to handle everything on my own.’”
She felt burned out and didn’t have the energy to deal with both work and the stress of wedding planning. All she wanted was to feel happy while preparing for their big day.
She promised she wasn’t trying to be a “trophy wife.” She just wanted a break.
“I’ll start job hunting after the wedding and honeymoon,” she told him. “I want a job that has better hours. Maybe even go back to school for my Masters.”
That seemed fair to him. He agreed to support her plan to resign but asked her to be serious about finding work again later.
Reddit still wasn’t convinced.
One person wrote:
“Yeah, the ring was a huge red flag. The moment she found out how much you make, her eyes turned into dollar signs.”
Another warned:
“Get a prenup. She’s never going back to work lol.”
Someone else said:
“Her plan is to quit, let you pay for everything, and focus on planning a wedding she’s not paying for. What’s her plan after the wedding? Just… exist?”
Another reader didn’t like OP’s comment about his parents pushing them to marry in 2024.
“You lost me when you said your parents are insisting you get married this year. You’re not acting like an adult if you let your parents decide your timeline.”
And someone offered strong advice:
“Hire a wedding planner. Who quits their job to plan a wedding? Get a prenup and you be the one in charge of birth control.”
The final message from another concerned Redditor hit hard:
“If you’re happy, that’s fine. But please don’t be naïve. Get a prenup. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Secure your future.”
