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I’m Not Allowed to Go to My Stepson’s Birthday Party

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Blending families can be tricky, especially when the parents don’t get along. Recently, Stella shared her tough situation with us.

She’s never clicked with her husband’s ex and now, she’s being left out of her stepson’s birthday bash. She’s wondering what she should do next.

Stella’s Letter

Here’s what Stella wrote to us:

“My stepson just turned 7 and his mom’s throwing a big party for him with 25 guests at her house. My husband’s invited, but his ex made it clear: he should come alone, without me.

It’s tough because my husband’s ex really doesn’t like me. I do my best with her son, but she still talks badly about me and is pretty rude. I usually just ignore her.

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So, I stood my ground and told my husband he shouldn’t go to the party without me. I said, ‘If you go alone, it feels like you’re ignoring how this affects me, especially in front of our friends.’

But then he hit back, saying, ‘Maybe if you were nicer to my ex, she’d welcome you at her house. You can’t just ignore her and expect to be invited.’

He also reminded me, ‘My ex and I will always be connected because of our son.’

I really don’t want him to go to that party. I suggested we throw a smaller one at our house, but he’s set on going. Am I being unreasonable?

Yours,

Stella”

What Should Stella Do?

Stella’s situation is a classic stepfamily struggle. She feels excluded and hurt by her husband’s ex, and it’s affecting her relationship with her husband. The question is, what should she do next?

If you were in Stella’s shoes, would you stand your ground or try to find a compromise? Share your thoughts!

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3 thoughts on “I’m Not Allowed to Go to My Stepson’s Birthday Party”

  1. I’ve never been in that situation so I can’t speak from experience but if you have a good relationship with your stepson, let him have some mommy/daddy time without you. Then do something special for him with or without your husband—like take him to his favorite park, go for ice cream and really make a day just for him. Then give him his birthday gift from you. It’s his special day, let him know how special he is to you and don’t worry about his mom.

  2. Susan Bacsick

    She is being petty and selfish. It’s his son and she shouldn’t be asking him to choose..how would she feel if the situation was reversed? All she’s going to do is drive him away and she’ll wind up divorced, again.

    1. LEONORA OSTERMEIER

      The father is a NASTY POS. I wouldn’t go because I’m not invited, but why the HELL should I have to be nice to the EX, when he speaks DOWN to me????

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